Enough With The Concerts Already!

               We here at Robot P0rn understand that you might not enjoy our subject matter as much as the next person. I know that you may ask, “Your title is Robot P0rn yet you never talk about robots or porn”? This is because I do not hate neither robots nor porn but just
because the Chef and I thought it was a classy name to put on our blog. Having said that you may notice that we write a lot about a subject not in the title and that would be concerts. As you know this is a something the Chef and I enjoy doing together. We have been to so many I have a book full of concert tickets. And next’s year’s concert lineup is already shaping up to be just as awesome as last year’s with fun., Keane, Swedish House Mafia, Green Day, and not one but two Muse shows on the books. And that is only for the first 4 months of the year.  Needless to say I cannot wait till next year gets here.

                I recently embarked on my most ambitious concert schedule of the year. I attended five shows in the span of two weeks. Sadly I only went to two of them with the Chef cause I think even for her I might have gone overboard. Or she just might not have been interested in who I was seeing. So I will let her elaborate on  the shows we attended together . I will still talk about them but I will spend more time on the shows I did not see with her. So without further ado I present to you:

J’s Crazy Concert Daze

                October 4 began my odyssey with a trek to the brand new Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn to catch Jay-Z. Again I will let the Chef elaborate on this show but my simple thoughts are this. One the venue is beyond amazing. Sightlines are awesome. It is clean and with great lighting and arena vibe. It makes MSG look like a complete dump. Just blows it away. If you have a chance go see a show there. It is worth the trip. I have seen Jay-Z on several occasions and he has always been very good. But now he has drawn from all the bands he has seen such as Muse and Jack White and now he can command a crowd and capture it from the stage. Then again all he did was keep saying Brooklyn all night. It was quite annoying by the end.

Jay-Z is that bright white light on the right. See I can rhyme too.

                Several days later I attended Radio City Music Hall to catch The Script with my girlfriend. Now I have zero problems with The Script. I actually enjoy them. My problem is with Radio City. I have been to several shows and the acoustics do not lend it to being a very good concert venue. The sound gets drowned out and usually people play their instruments way too loud. This felt like much of the same. It was overly loud instruments drowning out the lyrics to almost every song. Not to mention you had thousands of teenage girls singing the songs so loudly you really could not hear much of what was being sung. Still despite all that I enjoyed the show very much. The Script had a huge amount of energy onstage. I was impressed with how excited and involved they were with the crowd. And the crowd ate it all up. And I will not lie when they closed the show and the crowd began to sing word-for-word the lyrics to, “For The First Time” I got that chill I remember from when I saw Muse and everyone sang, “Starlight” together. That is my most favorite of the concert experience. When you join with the crowd and sing the lyrics to a song together and you share that moment. It was awesome.

I won't lie these guys rocked live.

                Then in what was one of my most anticipated shows of my calendar year I got to see the legend of Morrissey for the first time. I had heard how impressive he was live and how he could just capture a crowd with his presence. He lived up to every single accolade people have every said about him. The man walked onstage and the surge forward from the crowd was unlike anything I have ever felt before at a live show. It was scary powerful in that it just sucked me forward as the crowd wanted to move closer to their idol. But I can see why they felt that way. The man was simply mesmerizing onstage. His every movement and reaction was enthralling. You just could not keep your eyes off of him. His set list was super short. He did 19 songs in the span of about 90 minutes and wasted no time going from song to song. Morrissey is called the ‘King of Mope’ cause the majority of his songs are usually about death, or broken relationships. This was reflected in a set list that had songs like, “One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell” and “You Have Killed Me”. But he steps across the stage completely confident in his own skin that you almost forget the subject matter he is singing about. My only grip is he did not sing one of my favorite songs, “How Soon Is Now?” which is a Smiths classic. But regardless this was my most expensive concert ticket of the year at $90 but it was completely worth it. He is one of the best acts you can catch live.

This was one of the few times he actually stood still so I could take a picture.

                Just a quick word on the venue Terminal 5 where this show took place. My brother had told me the place was a pretty bad musical venue and it was. The acoustics in there are horrible and if you are in any of the balconies looking down on the stage chances are you will not have a good time because the sightlines from there are horrible. Your best bet is to set up near the bar on the ground level and it gives the sound a chance to travel properly. And you can at least buy drinks whenever you want.  

               
I attended Morrissey on a Friday and the very next day the Chef and I went to go see Fiona Apple out in Huntington, L.I. To say it was a different crowd was an understatement. Again I will let the Chef rage on this one cause she was the main recipient of what was happening but I will just say Fiona was captivating in a different completely different way. Morrissey captured you with his confidence while Fiona captured you with her “I don’t even know where I am right now” attitude. Half the time I thought she was so zoned out that I was thinking does she even realize she was in front of people. She was so into her own songs that she was having an out of body experience. Like she went to that place when you really get into a song and all of a sudden it is just you and the song. She spent a lot of the show rolling on the stage like she was on fire trying to put it out, or other times she would just be banging on the keys of a piano with no rhyme or reason. The best was at the end of the show it seemed like she did not even want to address the crowd. She just said bye and then walked off the stage not wanting to enjoy the adulation she was getting from the crowd. She just walked off the end. Definitely for me one of the most bizarre shows I have ever been too.

I didn't get any good pictures of her so I put up this blurry one.

                My final show of this span was also among my most anticipated as well. New Order was formed from the ashes of Joy Division after the passing of frontman Ian Curtis. New Order (check out their legendary album Substance for just a taste of what they are like) became one of the great electronic bands of the 80’s along with the Pet Shop Boys, one of my all-time favorite groups Depeche Mode. They tour less than in the past seeing as how they are all approaching 50 so having a chance to see them I was not going to pass up. This was my most favorite show of all these shows I attended. Not just because of my familiarity with the songs but also due to the crowd. This was a hype crowd that was into the whole show. They knew the songs and they had no problems singing along with each and every word. The group put on an amazing set with visuals, lights, and music all merging together in perfect harmony. It was what I imagine an EDM (electronic dance music) show of today would be like. It was not one particular piece was but the sum of their wholes that made it memorable. They ran through all of the classics they have including, “True Faith”, “Blue Monday”, “Bizarre Love Triangle”, and many others. At the end they finished with the classic Joy Division song, “Love Will Tear Us Apart” sending the crowd in to another frenzy that left it drained and happy all at the same time. It was one of the best shows I have seen all year right up there with Linkin Park.

Amazing show live.

                So that was my journey into concert going for the month of October. I will not lie to you dear reader, by the end I was feeling kind of fatigued after attending so many concerts in a short period of time. Then I thought about it for a second and realized I was going to see K’naan on the first day of November so I got over that fatigue real fast.

 Seeing Fiona Apple in Huntington sucked massive donkey balls. I've said it once and I'll say it again; if you're used to a NYC crowd for your concert-going needs, the Long Island crowd will annoy the fuck out of you. No doubt that Fiona draws a rather trying crowd to begin with. Usually; whiny, Caucasian, middle class suburban women who have little more to do than pop antidepressants and bitch about everything the world hasn't handed to them yet. I have experienced this ilk several years ago in Central Park the first time I saw her. Despite that, I thought her music was pretty good and I was excited to see her live again. What a friggin' waste of money!! Huntington, although a really great neighborhood to eat and hang out, is still in the middle of Long Island. The crowd this concert drew were middle-aged, Coke-snorting suburbanites who showed up either drunk or high....and not in the pot-induced hazy goodness. High- like tripping balls with hallucinations and delirious illusions of awesomeness. As if this fucked up mob of people were not  bad enough, Fiona was terrible. She's always looked like an emaciated heroine addict, and I don't care about her enough to really give a shit whether or not she is. But, there was absolutely no audience interaction between her and us. She came out, did her songs in some "only me" zone without bothering to acknowledge the crowd once.When she was done, she said "night" and walked off the stage. Her band sat there for a few minutes, waiting and wondering what was happening. Eventually, they put their instruments down and shuffled off stage. We thought she was coming back to do her encore- Criminal. No such luck. The lights came on and we were off. Fucking Long Island...

Jay-Z was an experience. The Barclay Center still has that new stadium smell. The food and beer are a mosaic of what Brooklyn has to offer. You'll pay about $10 for a burger, which isn't bad. It's steep, though, in terms of seating. You think you're getting great seats because you can see everything without a head in your line of vision, but you're pretty fucking high up in the air and when everyone stands, that line of vision is certainly fucked up, especially at 5'2". Don't be a moron and wear your club stilettos to a show here. The stairs are REALLY steep with little to no railing. If you fall, you're going to keep falling and it's gonna hurt.

Because Jay-Z was playing 8 consecutive nights of shows, the middle shows were lack-luster. He saved the best for opening night and the last night. What we got was a set list that was "The Best of Jay-Z" and it was great dancing and rapping along to his familiar tunes. But, that was it. No dancers. No special guests. Nothing but Jay. I don't know whether to be disappointed or respect him for it. But, I loved the music, so he will get my respect.

Speaking of respect, I will cut my rant short on the Jay-Z debacle, as J and I have affectionately come to refer to it. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again (although this is the second time I'm using the term on this post); Don't go to a concert you WANT to love with people who may ruin a good time. We all have our moments of being a complete and utter downer. Life sucks sometimes and we all have our ups and downs. Hell, I nearly lost all my friends 2 years ago when I couldn't drag myself out of the blues. But, if you're going to an event with people who are really looking forward to that event and your fucking 'tude ruins their good time: You're being selfish.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.