So I was talking to this shark on the train today…

 Life is all about moments. Moments of, joy, sadness, love, anger, etc. These moments make you feel that you are truly alive. You know those moments. I just went to one of my best friend’s wedding recently and she looked so happy marrying the man of her dreams. If anything, the grooms family was even happier then
she was. Happy enough that when the dj played a bit of Gangnam Style that the uncle of the groom ran almost as fast as I did to the dance floor. Though, obviously, he didn’t do the “riding the horse” like the author did.

Myself; I like sharing moments with a group of people. The idea that we are all sharing in something we enjoy together is a pretty awesome feeling. That could be concerts, seeing movies, or even playing rock band with a bunch of people is when I feel most alive.

It can be attending the Global Festival with 60,000 people or just walking the Highline with my girlfriend. These are the moments that I cherish the most.

Having said all that you have moments in life where you just scratch your head and want to say, “what the f…”. These are the moments where you say, “what were you thinking when you got up this morning”? I’m just putting a couple of these things down that have been on my mind. Whether they are things I have witnessed in person or just things that have made me take pause. Don’t judge me on how sophomoric I come off based on what I write here. It is just my thoughts after all. If it turns out you do this stuff I will think you are crazy, stupid, or just plain dumb. Anyway without further ado…

·         Ghost Riding The Whip – I have only witnessed this on Youtube videos, but it fascinates me how stupid you must be to think this is cool. This is when a person will put there car in drive and then hop out and walk next to itwith the car still in drive. This is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. You jump out of your car while it is still in drive? Moronic. That is why I enjoy the videos where they jump out of the car and then it crashes because it veers as they walk next to it. Bet they never thought that would happen when they decided to do this. Seriously, I feel like sometime people do things like this because they make the dumb things I do see not that dumb by comparison.

(I just love watching the crashes)

·         Women In The Men’s Bathroom – For those who do not know I work as an Assistant Manager at the Macy’s in Herald Square for the past two years now. Our store is a big tourism attraction to people from overseas. And apparently they do things differently over there. Like when you gotta go, you gotta go. So one day I go to the bathroom to wash my hands (I o.d. on keeping my hands clean cause my job is super messy) and I usually do not look around while I am washing. But on this day I did look to my right just as a patch of blond hair went to wash their hands as they came out of the stall. I look and see a woman starring right back at me. She looks at me not with a look of embarrassment but with a look of, “What are you starring at? Haven’t you ever seen a person wash their hands after using the bathroom”? The funniest thing was as she walked out and a guy was walking in and saw she was a woman and turned around thinking he was walking into the women’s bathroom. Needless to say that has happened a couple of more times to me at work so now I just kind of shrug it off. Maybe all bathrooms are unisex overseas.   

(When in Europe...)

·         Sleeping Car Dude – Living in New York you get desensitized to things that would normally probably shock you in any other place. But here you just take it in stride. It is just another day in the Big Apple. For me it happened twice in one day. This is the second part. I have to be at work by 5 a.m. So I am up by 3 a.m. every day. One morning as I am walking towards the employee entrance of my building I see a car idling in the middle of 35^th ST between 6^th and 7^th Ave. This would not be a big deal except that at 4:30 a./m. nobody is on the road except for delivery trucks to my building. So this car I walk by and see this man asleep behind the wheel car on and everything. I guess the reason I find this funny is not that he was asleep but that it was in the middle of 35^th ST. He did not pull over to the side or anything. So he fell asleep behind the wheel but somehow kept his foot on the break to prevent himself to be splattered all over by a truck as he rolled through 7^th Ave. I tapped on the guys window and he did not move at all so I smacked the glass pretty hard and that seemed to jar him awake. He then proceeded to look around and realize where he was and then just like a fish released into the wild he began driving again off into the night. My only regret is that I did not take a picture of this idiot asleep in his car. I was too busy worried he would kill someone while he was asleep at the wheel. My bad. I’ll make sure to take a picture next time before being a good Samaritan.

(Hey! Keep your hands on the wheel)

·         Shark On The Train – I’m sure many of you have seen things that will give you pause in life. But if you can top this one I will give you props cause I do not know if you can. Cause this one is an only in New York special edition. As I said I’m up crazy early for work. Nobody is on my train at 3:30 a.m. except for the guy cleaning the trains, a few bums, and a narcoleptic or two. So I get on my F train like I always do and out of the corner of my eye I see something grey looking at me. No joke there was a shark (it looked like of the sand variety) starring back at me. For the moment I kind of froze because I was in disbelief of what I was seeing. Like it could not be real. The cleaning guy got on and he is sweeping then comes upon my pal to my left and looks at me and mutters exactly what I was thinking. “what the f…”? Exactly buddy. No way I was not taking a picture of this. The funny thing is as I began to think about it was not how shocked I was to see a shark on the train. It was who in their right mind would bring a shark onto the train and then forget about it? My guess is someone bought it with the intention of eating eat (fyi I have had fried shark before and it tastes like a less dense version of chicken so it is pretty good) and then somehow forgot it. Like they got home and the guy went, “Where did I leave my shark”? How do you forget a shark on the train? Seriously, if I did not have photographic evidence I don’t think anyone would ever believe me.

(See I wasn't lying, its a shark on a train)

So that is just some stuff I had thought about. I probably could have thought of more but I have been  told I have a crappy memory so that was all I could dig up at the moment. But I would love to hear if you have ever seen anything to make you pause and go this is what life is all about. Those moments you do not see coming but you can look back and say that was kind of cool. Hopefully the Chef has something more interesting then I just wrote. After all she is more experienced in the language of life then I am. Or if nothing else she goes to comic con so she can tells use about all those nerds. 

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I'm not as swift with the camera phone as the rest of society is. And I only have a few moments that come to mind right now. I don't think I can trump the shark in the subway picture, though....Damn you, J!!!



Seattle

This is me; dry-humping the Nirvana exhibit at the Experience Music Project (EMP) and Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. When I decided I was going to Seattle this summer, this was the first thing on my list. The other thing was to go to Aberdeen, WA to take a picture next to the sign that said "Welcome to Aberdeen. Come as you are." But, alas, I was told that it was a very long drive and the ONLY thing to see in Aberdeen would be this sign. One day..... 

I, like many other people of my generation who head-banged to Smells Like Teen Spirit and had a rainbow collection of plaid flannel shirts held Seattle as some sort of grunge Mecca. This was the "birth place of grunge", we were told and firmly believed. 

When I finally got to Seattle, I was not disappointed. The people, the place, and the Music Project was all that I hoped it would be and MORE. I cannot wait until I make my way back there for good. I know they don't get much sunshine, but the 5 days I was there, the sun was bright and beautiful and I had an absolutely fantastic time. If you have not visited the Pacific Northwest, I urge you to go check out Seattle and the surrounding areas. You won't be let down.

And just so you know: 

Concerts

I've been to more concerts this year than I had been my entire life!!!! I have to say, I have J to thank for that. There aren't many people you can gel with when it comes to how you like to do things. I, myself, am a particularly moody, bitchy, picky concert goer. I don't like arriving late to a concert, where I'm rushing to my seats and skipping the merch. I don't like leaving early. I like to eat before heading in so I can enjoy the music and not suffer a grumbling tummy. So, I am eternally grateful J and I are so simpatico when it comes to live music. He may enjoy certain bands more than I do and vice versa, but you can't beat good company at a live show. I've been to enough concerts with shitty concert-goers. It only makes you appreciate the good one's even more! 

Right before Bare Naked Ladies & Blues Traveler at Jone's Beach

First Counting Crows concert of the year: AMAZING!!!

Artsy-Fartsy

I have my creative moments when I need to make shit. During one of those moments, I made this:

That's melted crayon, people! You like?

And this:

That's a picture on canvas...of my cousin & her husband's feet in Colorado at their wedding.

Like I said, I can't top the shark on the train. So, here's a picture of me and my buddy Margaret at Medieval Times in Maryland. Yes, bitches. Be jealous.